Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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