he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
