she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
