$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
be right there i have to get my cape
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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