Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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