I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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