she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
