i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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