Whod you bang
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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