There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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