So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
