Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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