I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
