Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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