You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Someone signed my nipple.
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