I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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