Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
