Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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