there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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