I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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