i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
