Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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