Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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