Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He felt like a one man threesome
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
