You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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