im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize