if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
