If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
