Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
