I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
