Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
