so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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