I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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