New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
3pm strippers are depressing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count