when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media