So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.