I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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