it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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