so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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