So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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