Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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