none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
