Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
