Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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