Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
