Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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