You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
