Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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