Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She even gives head with a lisp.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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