My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Everyone says I win the strip club
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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