I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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