someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
