he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
