i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
