addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
