I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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