Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
