take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
