I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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