we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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