Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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