I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
NoShamevember. You game?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
