their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
