This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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